• Will my story include healing?

    You hear it a lot, “pray and it’ll be answered”,  -but what if it isn’t? I believe in the power of prayer. There’s no doubt in my mind prayer works. An answered prayer is a true miracle.  But, do I believe every single prayer is answered? Yes, and no. I do not believe He always answers our prayers with the outcome we pray for.  God hears every single prayer, but I believe that God sometime’s says, not yet, and sometimes even no.  I recently read the story of the two blind men in the Bible. Matthew 9:27-31 27 As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, shouting, “Have mercy on…

  • You are enough for motherhood.

    I used to dream of being a mom. I could not wait to embark on that journey. But then my journey with a chronic illness began. I was 18, in college, and single, so I never thought much of my future as a mom. I then started dating, and the thought of being a mom would come and go from my mind. I’d ask myself if I even thought it would be possible. I considered all my options- adoption, surrogacy, and pregnancy. I knew ultimately I wanted to be a mom no matter how that came about, but I really desired to carry my own child. A few years into…

  • A little honesty.

    Being a mom has been amazing, and I am so blessed to have my son in my life. The love I have for him is indescribable.  A few years ago I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to carry a baby, or have the energy to be a mom. I was at a very low time in my life emotionally, and physically. My body felt like it was failing me.  Doctor appointments, medications, and the right treatment got me to a good place where I felt like I could make my dream to be a mom a reality.  We planned our precious baby.  The first month was easy. The…

  • Our story choosing life.

    October 3, I saw two pink lines. I was excited, and scared. Scared because I knew the risks that would come. My baby was no surprise, yet he was planned- by us, and by God. I knew the hardship that I would go through. I had a hard time finding an OB that would accept me. Even after finding an OB that would accept me, they didn’t want to accept my baby’s life with the same value as my own. To me, my child was not a clump of cells, but he was a human- my precious baby. It was the hardest nine months of my life. I tried to…

  • One day is today.

    This month marks five years since I was first diagnosed with a temperamental heart. I’ve gone to more doctor appointments than I can count, and the longest I think I’ve ever gone in between appointments has maybe been around three months. Today, I was cleared for six months. SIX. I’ve been cleared for that long before, but I ended up going in earlier for an appointment. I’m really hoping this six months is really six months. I used to walk out to my car, upset, frustrated, mad at my body, mad at God. Honestly mad at everything. I would question why me. I would sit in my car and cry. I…

  • I deserve love, and so do you.

    I never thought I’d experience love. Not just simple love, but true, never-ending, hard to put into words love. I’ve experienced heart ache. I’ve experienced hurt. I’ve cried myself to sleep over pointless relationships. I was bullied all throughout school for my appearance and never thought I’d find someone who loved me. I experienced health issues that made me feel like no one would ever want to be with me when doctor appointments are written on my monthly calendar. I starved myself for eight years and never thought I’d find someone who’d understand the struggles of food. I experienced sexual assault so I never thought someone would want to be…