Sometimes you get a good year, before it all returns.

This month marks 7 years since my journey with my heart started. The last few days I’ve been reminded of how long of a battle it’s been.

I had my most recent ablation last year in August. It was successful. Not 100%, but it lessened the amount of SVT attacks I was having. 

I then became pregnant and had a fairly typical pregnancy. I’ve been doing great since birth as well. Which I’m very thankful for! 

But on Saturday, I had an SVT attack that morning. It literally took my breath away. I forgot about the panic that happens when your heart starts racing towards 200. I forgot about how the room spins, and your visions starts to go black.

I forgot about it all this past year when all my attacks were minor.  

This was an attack like I used to have. The ones that would make daily life difficult.

Saturday, my symptoms lasted all day. Chest pain was excruciating anytime I would walk. The dizziness was overwhelming. 

I finally went to the hospital to make sure it wasn’t another arrhythmia that they could get me out of. 

I got IV fluids and was released once my heart rate went back to normal. 

The nurse and the doctor asked my history with SVT, and when I explained how often I used to have it, they were shocked. 

But I’m very thankful to be able to say how often I “used” to have it. 

The last 3 days have been very painful, and my shortness of breath is getting the best of me. 

It reminds me of the years I spent with this daily. All the tears I cried wanting to be “normal”.

How difficult college was. How difficult working was. 

I’m praying this attack fades and I can go back to doing well, like I’ve been the last year. 

I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t worry me. 

Walking to the mailbox shouldn’t make you sound like you ran a marathon.

Picking your baby up shouldn’t make the room spin.

Doing the laundry shouldn’t make your chest hurt. 

Normal life shouldn’t cause this much pain. 

The last 7 years have taught me that this journey isn’t ordinary. Every day is not the same. 

They’ll be good days, and sometimes even a good year. 

And then the illness will sweep you back up, and overwhelm you again. 

And the only words I have for it is – it sucks. 

And it might not ever get better. I accepted that years ago.

And it’s scary not knowing how long this new “period” of time will last before you need another heart surgery or a new trial medication. 

But sometimes you get a good year. And that helps make it a little easier to handle the bad days.