Sometimes you get a good year, before it all returns.
This month marks 7 years since my journey with my heart started. The last few days I’ve been reminded of how long of a battle it’s been.
I had my most recent ablation last year in August. It was successful. Not 100%, but it lessened the amount of SVT attacks I was having.
I then became pregnant and had a fairly typical pregnancy. I’ve been doing great since birth as well. Which I’m very thankful for!
But on Saturday, I had an SVT attack that morning. It literally took my breath away. I forgot about the panic that happens when your heart starts racing towards 200. I forgot about how the room spins, and your visions starts to go black.
I forgot about it all this past year when all my attacks were minor.
This was an attack like I used to have. The ones that would make daily life difficult.
Saturday, my symptoms lasted all day. Chest pain was excruciating anytime I would walk. The dizziness was overwhelming.
I finally went to the hospital to make sure it wasn’t another arrhythmia that they could get me out of.
I got IV fluids and was released once my heart rate went back to normal.
The nurse and the doctor asked my history with SVT, and when I explained how often I used to have it, they were shocked.
But I’m very thankful to be able to say how often I “used” to have it.
The last 3 days have been very painful, and my shortness of breath is getting the best of me.
It reminds me of the years I spent with this daily. All the tears I cried wanting to be “normal”.
How difficult college was. How difficult working was.
I’m praying this attack fades and I can go back to doing well, like I’ve been the last year.
I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t worry me.
Walking to the mailbox shouldn’t make you sound like you ran a marathon.
Picking your baby up shouldn’t make the room spin.
Doing the laundry shouldn’t make your chest hurt.
Normal life shouldn’t cause this much pain.
The last 7 years have taught me that this journey isn’t ordinary. Every day is not the same.
They’ll be good days, and sometimes even a good year.
And then the illness will sweep you back up, and overwhelm you again.
And the only words I have for it is – it sucks.
And it might not ever get better. I accepted that years ago.
And it’s scary not knowing how long this new “period” of time will last before you need another heart surgery or a new trial medication.
But sometimes you get a good year. And that helps make it a little easier to handle the bad days.