I am struggling with the fact that I will be in pain for the rest of my life. That there is no end in sight. Unless someone finds a cure to this currently incurable disease. I wish I knew how to cope with this diagnosis. It’s been over a year and I am still struggling. I wish I knew how to simply cope with just living. Living in a body that will never know what it’s like to be normal again. That’s a hard thing to digest. 

I never really looked into alternative treatments because honestly they scare me. But medication is slowly not working anymore, and I cannot go back to being unmedicated. My body will not survive it. I will not survive it. 

So, in two weeks I’ll be meeting with a neurosurgeon to discuss my options.

I want to know all my options. I want to know from less invasive procedures, all the way to full blown brain surgery. 

I absolutely do not want to do any procedures or surgeries. But I want to know my options. I want to know that there is hope. That there is something we can do to calm down my trigeminal nerve. That Trigeminal Neuralgia won’t control my life forever. 

So in two weeks I’ll have that discussion, and I am terrified.