Category «My Journey (health)»

God and my faith are bigger than a high risk pregnancy.

Well, it’s been quite some time since I’ve written anything, mainly because the one thing I’ve wanted to write about, we haven’t been sharing. Now that we have made it public….. I’m going to be a mom! I am still in shock writing those words. But I could not be more excited and thankful for …

Holding on to Hope.

A few days ago I had a successful ablation (a procedure that is used to scar small areas in your heart that may be causing arrhythmias). I was so happy to finally {hopefully} be able to have a normal life.  And then it happened yesterday: the beginning of another blackout.  I was heartbroken all over again. I …

Thy will be done.

It’s hard to think that God planned this. The pain.  That he looked at me, and said, “I’m giving her this. I’m giving her all these strange heart conditions that doctors don’t understand, but is okay because she can handle it”.  Some days I just want to scream at God. Some days I want to …

In the eye of the storm.

I sometimes don’t talk about it, so some people think that I’m okay, or that I’m better. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever know what better feels like. And that scares me. But, at the same time, I am getting used to feeling broken. To feeling like I’m stuck in this hole, …

They are beyond grateful.

Donating blood, organs, or anything else has always fascinated me, especially after struggling with my heart. I have a condition that no one can donate something so simply, and help me get better. If they could, it would be amazing- but no one can. So I think of it in that perspective. I’d want someone …

Even if.

Many days I ask myself what I will do if this never goes away. What will happen if this is the plan God has for my life? Just one diagnosis after another, without relief.  Some days I think about my life, and wonder how it could get worse. How much more could I handle?  I …

I want to be labeled as healthy.

7 years ago I made the decision to become a vegetarian. It was an innocent decision that lasted for a few years that way. Then it slowly started to become my excuse.  My excuse to not have to eat much. My excuse I could use when I wanted to skip a meal. “Oh, there’s nothing …

I am not okay- yet.

Today started out not so good. Long story short, I broke down in tears in the bathroom (even though I shed a few at my desk). For the first time I realized how much this was affecting me, and how I can no longer hide it.  I never like to tell people how much this …

200.

For the first time in a really long time I am okay.  I went to yet another appointment last Friday. I was somewhere between ‘dreading it’ and ‘hopeful’. I left actually feeling okay about it all, which is a first. Like most appointments, I was put on more medication. But like most appointments, I was …