I’m exhausted. Two years ago I began taking an antidepressant. It helped, and I knew it helped. But it wasn’t till the past few weeks that I realized how much it helped. Five weeks ago, after my son was born, my prescription also ran out. With being new to motherhood, and putting everything into taking care of my baby, I’ve put myself on the back burner- like trying to renew my meds. I was off of them the first trimester of my pregnancy, and I could tell a difference in myself, but I honestly thought it was just pregnancy hormones- now I know this feeling isn’t and wasn’t just hormones.…
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A Letter to God From The Girl That Desperately Wants to be Healthy.
God, I hate this. I used to say that I hated you because of unanswered prayers. I’m sorry- I don’t hate you. I just hate this. The pain. The unanswered tests. The unanswered prayers. The longing to be healthy. I never used to despise medication until I relied on it every day. I never used to want to cry with medication changes. Now that I take three medications, 5 1/2 pills, a day, just to create a [hopefully] well beating heart that day, is exhausting. It might not seem bad to others, but every morning, and every night I have to take pills to correct an organ that should be able…
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To the Christian with Anxiety:
I understand completely what you’re feeling. Having anxiety alone is exhausting, but trying to act like you’re fine adds another load to your shoulders. Now add being a Christian on top of it.
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Society has created a stigma and I want that stigma to be erased.
This darkness consumes you. The ache in your chest continues. Your head is throbbing from overthinking. You feel as if you’re drowning. You want to scream for help, but you can’t speak. You want to run from it all, but you’re stuck. Stuck in these motions. Motions that continue, and continue.
