Tag: dysautonomia

In the eye of the storm.

I sometimes don’t talk about it, so some people think that I’m okay, or that I’m better. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever know what better feels like. And that scares me. But, at the same time, I am getting used to […]

A Letter to God From The Girl That Desperately Wants to be Healthy.

A Letter to God From The Girl That Desperately Wants to be Healthy.

God,  I hate this. I used to say that I hated you because of unanswered prayers. I’m sorry- I don’t hate you. I just hate this. The pain. The unanswered tests. The unanswered prayers. The longing to be healthy. I never used to despise medication […]

Even if.

Many days I ask myself what I will do if this never goes away. What will happen if this is the plan God has for my life? Just one diagnosis after another, without relief.  Some days I think about my life, and wonder how it […]

I want to be labeled as healthy.

7 years ago I made the decision to become a vegetarian. It was an innocent decision that lasted for a few years that way. Then it slowly started to become my excuse.  My excuse to not have to eat much. My excuse I could use […]


For the first time in a really long time I am okay.  I went to yet another appointment last Friday. I was somewhere between ‘dreading it’ and ‘hopeful’. I left actually feeling okay about it all, which is a first. Like most appointments, I was […]

One day.

One day.

The last few weeks I’ve felt okay- a lot better than usual. I still didn’t feel 100% better, but a little better is enough for me. I stopped myself, and reflected on how I hadn’t had a bad episode in a few weeks, and I […]