• Some hope.

    It’s not the outcome I wanted. I wanted to walk in those hospital doors with a misbehaving Herald (my heart is such a big part of my life, he deserved a name, right?! LOL), and walk out with a well-behaved Herald. Well that didn’t happen. I left with a tiny bit of hope implanted in my chest (literally). I was given a permanent heart monitor (linq recorder), which I will wear up to three years- until they find a cause for my heart’s rapid beating. Although it’s not the hope I was hoping for, it’s something. Usually after every disappointing appointment, I would leave questioning God. I would get mad…

  • Another appointment. Another day.

    I try my hardest to stay positive. I try my hardest to believe that everything will be okay. But I will admit, there are days I don’t see a getting better in my future. I had another doctors appointment today. I have spent weeks praying and today I hit a wall. I truly believed my prayers would be answered. That we would be close to being done with this, and yet I feel like we’re starting over. More changes. More tests. No new answers. 

  • Broken.

    I know. I know what it’s like to lay in bed at night and wonder if things will ever get better. I know what it’s like to be with your friends, yet desperately want to go home. I ask myself all the time- will things ever be okay.  Will I ever be me again. The girl that loved being with my friends. The girl that loved school. The girl that enjoyed church on Sunday mornings. The girl that loved life. Would I ever get my life back?