marriage

I wrote this post about 6 months before I met my future husband. That last year before I met him, I prayed and prayed. I had never prayed so much for a guy I had never met in my life. I had heartbreaks during that time, and I felt so defeated. I know being 21 was young, and I had nothing to fret over. But when you’ve waited and waited for God to send you the one, and you’ve had your heart broken multiple times, the waiting seems to drag on and on. 

I will say this: If you’re currently in the process of waiting- wait. Although I believe that heartbreaks are lessons, I truly wish I had not tried to take over and had just sat back and watched God work. 

I can’t believe that this letter that used to be addressed to an unknown you, is now addressed to a man named Nathan. God has your life planned, and he has the perfect person created and set aside for you. Just trust in his timing, pray, and you will find that person. 

A letter to you (Nathan),

It’s 3am, and I’m writing this, which means you probably should be okay dating someone who goes to bed late, and sleeps till lunch. Be okay with getting a text message at 1am when my mind is wandering and I have a question or comment to share.

Be okay with documenting our memories. Don’t get annoyed when I want to take a picture. I just want to remember this moment. A memory, with you. 

When I say I’ll be at your house at 2pm, expect me a few minutes late… Fine, expect me an hour late.

Don’t get annoyed when it takes me forever to get ready. Choosing an outfit can be time consuming (do I wear sweats or dress cute?! See, it’s a tough decision).

I love wearing make-up, so that’s a must before I leave the house. I will try to rock a messy bun, but some days I want to put a little more effort. But, there are days when I don’t want to wear makeup, and going au-natural is what I feel like doing. So don’t look surprised when I walk out of the house without makeup, and my hair looking like a mess, possibly wearing my favorite pair of sweat pants (Okay, you probably won’t be surprised since this will be me 99.9% of the time).

I change my mind a billion times. Don’t set your mind to one thing, because I might change the plans the last minute. But at the same time I don’t like making decisions (yes, I am one of those people that will say ‘I don’t know‘ a million times- I apologize in advance but you’ll probably want to plan every single date ahead of time), but also refer back to the first sentence in this paragraph, so eh- I guess just go with the flow.  

I like surprises. But I don’t want to know it’s a surprise because then I’ll be playing in my mind over and over what it could possibly be, so save yourself the ‘I am not going to tell you so stop asking’ line by just not telling me you have a surprise- just surprise me.

I also love just sitting and talking. I don’t need a fancy date, or elaborate plans. I love simplicity. We can sit and play a board game and I’ll be happy. Simply being with you is enough. 

Oh, and this is important, so listen! Know my Dunkin order, and I’ll keep you around. If you need to be reminded, it’s “Carmel Swirl Iced Coffee, Sugar, Extra Cream”. This is a very important thing to remember (and don’t laugh, because you’ll soon learn this is very true. VERY).

I love animals. So if I call you telling you that I got a pet goat, it’s probably true.

I don’t like cats, so believe me when I lie and tell you I’m allergic (and yes, it’s a lie because I’ve already been allergy tested and my prayers for a rash didn’t happen).

I love music, especially country music, so pretend like you do too. Better yet, learn to love it. You better get use to random dancing, and breaking out into a screaming duet in the car, because that’ll happen often.

Another thing, you might want to learn to cook if you don’t already know how. I’ll gladly buy you some cook books because well, I burn toast (actually, that was only one time when I tried to cook toast in a pan on the stove- don’t ask. This just proves you need to be able to cook).

You need to be willing to learn Sign Language. Point blank. No excuses. This is a very important part of my life, and you need to be willing to at least try to learn it.

I don’t like expensive dates. Honestly, I’d be happy sitting watching Netflix and eating Moe’s take-out. Just being with you is enough. I just want you to be here.

To love me. To give advice. To hug me. To wipe my tears. To tell me everything will be alright. To hold my hand. To be you. 

I don’t need promises, I just need you to keep them when you make them. I won’t lie to you, so don’t lie to me. I won’t intentionally hurt you, so don’t hurt me. If I open up to you, then I trust you. So please don’t make me regret it.

Laugh at my jokes, even if they aren’t funny (and trust me, I cannot tell jokes to save my life). I promise to laugh at yours too. 

Ask me questions when you want to know something, don’t just assume.

I can sit in silence all day. I can also talk a mile a minute. Get used to both.

Last thing, church is where I’ll be every Sunday, and I hope you are too. My faith is important to me, so don’t compromise that.

I am a very simple girl, but I’m also complex. There’s a lot to know about me, so be okay with getting to know me for a while, because you won’t learn it all from the start. Most importantly know that if you are this special someone, you are definitely special, because I won’t open myself up to just anyone. So understand that. If you understand the things in this letter, I might just keep you around. 

Love,

A girl that is writing this to you when she should be sleeping.