• A little honesty.

    Being a mom has been amazing, and I am so blessed to have my son in my life. The love I have for him is indescribable.  A few years ago I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to carry a baby, or have the energy to be a mom. I was at a very low time in my life emotionally, and physically. My body felt like it was failing me.  Doctor appointments, medications, and the right treatment got me to a good place where I felt like I could make my dream to be a mom a reality.  We planned our precious baby.  The first month was easy. The…

  • Our story choosing life.

    October 3, I saw two pink lines. I was excited, and scared. Scared because I knew the risks that would come. My baby was no surprise, yet he was planned- by us, and by God. I knew the hardship that I would go through. I had a hard time finding an OB that would accept me. Even after finding an OB that would accept me, they didn’t want to accept my baby’s life with the same value as my own. To me, my child was not a clump of cells, but he was a human- my precious baby. It was the hardest nine months of my life. I tried to…

  • One day is today.

    This month marks five years since I was first diagnosed with a temperamental heart. I’ve gone to more doctor appointments than I can count, and the longest I think I’ve ever gone in between appointments has maybe been around three months. Today, I was cleared for six months. SIX. I’ve been cleared for that long before, but I ended up going in earlier for an appointment. I’m really hoping this six months is really six months. I used to walk out to my car, upset, frustrated, mad at my body, mad at God. Honestly mad at everything. I would question why me. I would sit in my car and cry. I…

  • Lessons from my first year of marriage.

    Tomorrow is one year since I married my best friend. I’ve learned a lot of things in this past year. I’ve learned that when they say “marry your best friend“, you should take that seriously. I know what it’s like to be mixed with the wrong people, and I can tell you that being in a relationship with the right person is amazing. Being able to wake up next to your favorite person is something worth waiting for. I’ve learned the importance in finding someone that truly loves you. A person that loves you when you’re mad. A person that loves you when you’re happy, and sad. A person that…

  • Left vs Right

    These are two medications I take daily. The left is a medication for my heart. It works to slow my heart down and allows my heart rate to be normal around 75% of the time. It doesn’t make my life normal but manageable. The right is an antidepressant. I have taken it for the last two years to help with depression and anxiety. It allows it to be reduced tremendously. It’s not a ‘happy pill’ but it makes every day a little more manageable. Both help me daily to be healthy so I can be the best wife and mother I can be. Yet, the one on the left society…

  • Admitting is half the battle.

    I’m exhausted. Two years ago I began taking an antidepressant. It helped, and I knew it helped. But it wasn’t till the past few weeks that I realized how much it helped. Five weeks ago, after my son was born, my prescription also ran out. With being new to motherhood, and putting everything into taking care of my baby, I’ve put myself on the back burner- like trying to renew my meds. I was off of them the first trimester of my pregnancy, and I could tell a difference in myself, but I honestly thought it was just pregnancy hormones- now I know this feeling isn’t and wasn’t just hormones.…